Like the majority of people on this thread, I'm dealing with major financial issues, and I'm in need of desperate advice and help.
The Big Issue
Last week, I received a phone call that a payday loan that was under my name had defaulted. Problem is, I have never (and will never) took out a payday loan. After some further investigation, the payday loan company discovered my wife took out the payday loan using my information without my permission and consent. When I confronted my wife with this information, she informed me that she used my personal information and took out three additional payday loans (four total). Again, I never gave my consent or permission for these loans.
I have contacted the payday loan companies and explained to them the scenario. My wife followed up confessing to the payday loan companies that she did commit fraud and obtained these loans using my identity. The payday loan companies are unable to transfer the loan from my name into hers. The total amount of money she took out under my name exceeds $10k.
At the time, I was offered the following options:
-
File a police report and charge my wife with fraud. This would clear the debt, but would ruin my wife's life (which I cannot do because of my children).
-
Continue paying on the loans
After speaking to the police, lawyers, and my credit union, the recommended course of action is to continue paying on the loans. However, this essentially makes it seem that I was the one who obtained these loans, not my wife.
A small wrinkle
This isn't the first time my wife obtained payday loans. The first time, she got bailed out by her parents (without my knowledge). The second time, I had to obtain a loan through my credit union and bail her out.
How did this happen? What does she do with the money? Why didn't you know about this?
She and I handled the finances 50/50. We would sit down on Sunday night and plan and budget the next week. We would give ourselves a $50 allowance for the week to do with what we wanted.
The first payday loan occured when she made several purchases on a credit card that she never told me about. As the credit card minimums rose and she knew her allowance couldn't keep up with them so she took the first payday loan. Then she fell into the dreaded payday loan cycle. When she realized she was WAY over her head, she had her parents bail her out. This entire event happened without me knowing.
The second time was the result of me working on a large "Make or Break" project for my primary job. During this time, I was working 16-20 hour days at my primary job, while working weekends at my second job. Knowing, I can't focus 100% on the finances, I asked her to take over until everything cleared up. My wife made a few mistakes regarding the budget and bills, and decided the best course of action would be to obtain a payday loan. Once again, she fell into the payday loan cycle. I found out about this when my project was complete and had to bail her out via a bank loan.
Now I handle 100% of the finances, including paying the bills, making sure we adhere to a budget, and saving money for emergencies.
Why are you still married? Why don't you divorce her?
I have looked into that option. According to the lawyers, the state I live in is considered a "common asset" state. In short, what is mine is ours. That includes debt that occurs while married, regardless if it was issued to one party or both parties. So if I divorce her, I'm still stuck with half of the debt. More importantly, I don't want my children to be raised in a "divorced" environment. I was raised in one, and I hated it.
Why don't you sell everything to pay off this debt? Why didn't you have a budget?
I have sold everything we don't need. Clothes, video games, TVs, and anything of value has been sold. We do not have cable, found the cheapest cell phone plan, and adhere to a very strict budget that I handle 100%. We have moved to a small apartment and I have cut every unneccessary expense. I still work two jobs, and during any free time, I find side work to help supplement our income. Any extra money that is left over goes to the debt.
Trying to make a dent in the debt, I cashed in my meager 401(k). It helped, but not enough.
All credit cards have been cut and I check our credit report monthly to make sure no new cards or lines of credit have been opened. I have called the credit card companies and negoiated payment plans to help lower interest and pay off principal. We are following the snowball method of debt relief.
My wife and I have both gone through credit counseling, financial planning, and couple's therapy to figure things out. We are cash only (except for the bills I pay online).
My main goal is to keep a roof over our children's head and food on the table.
Why not declare bankruptcy?
She already declared bankruptcy (Chapter 7) five years ago after a credit card fiasco she got herself into (this happened before we were married, and this was not disclosed this to me until after we were married).
I could file Chapter 7 and she could file for Chapter 13, however... remember that big work project that occurred a year ago? That was prepping my small corporation that I work for (I don't own it, I'm just a code monkey) to be sold to a larger corporation. (Un)fortuneately, my small company had an Employee Owned Stock Program (ESOP). My "share" of the stock is around $150k. I have not received this money but it is expected to be released in less than six months.
According to my lawyer, since this is known income, I would need to disclose it to the court and the creditors, making Chapter 7 (or Chapter 13) not a viable option. Also this further complicates the divorce issue (which is an option I don't want to pursue, for the kid's sake).
The ESOP payout would clear our debt and we would have a small emergency (less than $5k) fund. Then we can start rebuilding our credit and saving for the future.
Here are my questions:
-
Is there anything else I can do to gain extra money to go towards the debt?
-
Can anybody recommend any other options than the ones I have described?
-
Any additional advice would be greatly appreciated...
Submitted November 13, 2017 at 01:58PM by JustAGuyWithAProblem http://ift.tt/2ADLDIC
