TL;DR: This is LONG, but I really need to vent. Recruiter offered me a position, all whilst demeaning my concerns, invalidating my reasoning, pressuring and guilting me into accepting an offer. I am offended, and do not know what to do next.
I have been interviewing for a big Audit / Consulting firm for a few months now for a Senior position, but I would have to relocate to a high cost of living city. I should mention that the recruiter had been difficult to work with. To this day, there has not been a single time she has not been at least 15 minutes late to our scheduled calls, nor has she apologized for being late once. We've spoken several times.
Anyway, I was invited to their office and was flown out for their interview day, met the whole team I'd be working with and loved them, received great feedback, and I was just overall super excited about the position. I heard back from my recruiter a few days later, who said the team wanted to move forward with an offer, but it would take her a few days to get the process approved internally. Both the partner and the manager that interviewed me followed up with me that week asking if i'd heard about the news with HR and I said I did and that I was really excited about it, and that I was waiting on the offer from the recruiter. Great stuff. A week passed, and heard nothing. Then, the recruiter started demanding my salary history. I worked for another similar firm for two years, and was doing some freelance work up until that point, so I gave her my salary from my previous job, and didn't feel comfortable sharing further so I just told her my salary expectations—she didn't reply, and I thought, 'great, I must be in the range since she didn't shut that down'. Another week passed, and I heard nothing. I emailed my recruiter saying other opportunities were heating up, and that I would have to move quickly by the end of this week. Sure enough, she emailed me a day later asking if she could call.
I agreed to a call so we could discuss offer details over the phone, and after her being late to our call yet again, we discussed the details. She wanted to start me off at $18,000 less than I said what my base salary expectation was, although I did inflate my expectations to allow for a higher middle ground. Signing bonus was $8000, which was hefty, and would help subsidize the move to the new, really expensive city, but not fund it long term. In addition, she said I would not be eligible for a bonus until next year, which I though was reasonable because that's when I would apply for the performance evaluation. She really talked up the additional benefits even though they were no better than my previous employer and were rather standard for my industry and similar workplaces. I profusely thanked her for my offer, but explained that I was concerned in that I thought the compensation was considerably less than what i was expecting, and less than what I had discussed with other employers. And that because my offer is contingent on a move to the new city, a move would not be so financially feasible at that pay. In addition, I said that internet research and talking to Senior colleagues in THAT FIRM, that the pay appears very much under what the median or average salaries are for a Senior Consultant. I even looked at the h1b data to verify if indeed Seniors in that city for that same company were getting paid around $100k, and according to the website it was. That in combination with cost of living, I didn't think it was an unreasonable target. She then proceeded to invalidate my reasoning, saying "Yeah well I wouldn't believe everything you read on the internet, I'M THE RECRUITER, soooo.....". Okay, I thought, whatever, I conceded that she knows the specifics, but said I based my research around that information, which is all that I had, it wasn't a demand. She then said she prefers not to have to go to the hiring managers but would go and see if they can handle something in the low $90ks (they were offering $88k), but that $100ks were ilkely out of the cards. I said something to the effect of 'Okay, thats fine, whatever you can do for me would be greatly appreciated!'. I should point out that at this point I have not received the offer in writing, as she said she wanted to get any amends to the offer rectified before actually writing it up, which I can understand. I tried to remain as professional as possible, but couldn't help notice that she was getting noticeably annoyed—she said she would get back to me within 48 hours and then basically hung up on me, not letting me say thanks again for the offer. At this point I'm getting some red flags and have a sour taste in my mouth. I can't help but feel like she's just trying to assert her dominance in that I'm at the mercy of this recruiter, but I'm legitimately scared that she will just revoke the offer, even though the team is really pleased with me and I know they want me.
It gets much, much worse from here.
I was considering emailing her back thanking her for her time and saying that I looked forward to speaking again, because I was so scared, but my coach advised against it, so I didn't. I heard back 2 days later, and she emailed me asking if she could call me later that day. I was swamped with meetings that day, but I agreed. She was late 10 minutes to our scheduled, AGAIN. At this point I'm getting REALLY agitated. I greet her and thank her because I knew she would go bat for me and leadership, and ask if she was able to amend the offer, and said that I really appreciated it. She replies, "well you can show your appreciation by accepting my offer by the end of this call". I thought she was joking, so I just chuckle uncomfortably. She says leadership has approved a raise from $88k, to $95k + signing bonus. A +7k increase! I'm ecstatic! I thought they would lowball me again. I even say "wow, that's really great, that's even better than I thought you would come back with", and proceed to thank her profusely, and say that we're definitely moving in the right direction. Then, because of our last conversation, I felt like I needed to explain my reasoning again. I said something like, "again, the reason why I asked for more is because while the previous offer is great at face value if I'm staying in my current city, if expected to move I have to consider cost of living, and I couldnt help but notice the cost of living in that city is overall 91% HIGHER, with housing being an alarming 201% higher, and so technically in my calculations, earning what i was before, I would have to earn closer to 130k to maintain my standards of living, and I realize thats not doable for you, but thats why I was shooting for 100k as a target thats closer to what is needed"
To which she replied, "yeah i dont know where youre getting that information from and i dont know what your standards of living are but to me it is SHOCKING that youre asking for so much and frankly it reflects poorly on you", and so on, and just goes off on me. I'm fucking horrified at this point. This is what followed
Me: "I think youre misunderstanding me, I'm just explaining my reasoning, i'm not trying to negotiate this offer further, I think its fair"
Her: "I'm not misunderstanding you"
Me: "And my reasoning is based on websites that you yourself can find on the internet with such cost of living information, and discussions with my advisor and my father"
Her: "Well maybe you should be working with your RECRUITER instead"
Me: "Thats the conversation I'm trying to have with you—look I'm not trying to get paid more than I deserve, I'm just worried if I'll be able to afford rent. The office is in Time Square, and rent around that area ranges from 2k to 3k"
Her: "Well then DONT LIVE THERE, people earn much less than that and still make it to the office every day".
I was done. Basically, she proceeded to demean and invalidate my reasoning and it just seemed like she didn't want to hear what I had to say, despite me saying that I WANTED TO TAKE THE OFFER AND THAT I APPRECIATED IT AND THAT I AM EXCITED ABOUT IT!
Sigh. Anyway, I asked when the offer expired so that I can wait on any other potential opportunities, and evaluate the offer when I receive it in writing. She said: "You have until Monday", and I said that was a little tight, and that no other company had ever expected me to give a verbal agreement without having even seen the written offer, let alone in under 48 business hours, and asked if she could give me an additional 24 hours to think about it.
She said she would give me until Tuesday, but went off again, saying she really stuck her neck out for me when she went to bat for me and get this raise for me (and really drilled that in, that she 'batted for me'), and that she thought and expected that I would give a verbal agreement in that same call as a 'professional courtesy' to her (LOL) because of what she did for me, and that I would have to be her 'first' in terms of being given such a short window of time to decide. I thanked her again, and said I appreciated what she did for me. She even said "It doesn't matter to me if you appreciate it or not, I am under a lot of pressure and now i will have to go back to leadership and tell them that I'm not sure if ill be able to bring you in, even after that raise", or something similar. I again said that she was misunderstanding, and that they were my front runner, and that I was excited, and that i wanted to take the offer, but that I still needed to evaluate, so I appreciate her granting the extension till Tuesday. To make this stupidly long post a little shorter, she said the offer was sitting with Legal and that I would receive it (or at least thats what I think she said), and that she looks forward to hearing whether or not I will be signing with them or not by Tuesday.
I still have not received a written offer. I dont know what to do. I am willing to take the offer by Tuesday, I WANT to take the job and never see her again, but I just have such a sour taste in my mouth after this whole thing. I waited 2 weeks for her to call me with an offer, and demands a decision within 48 business hours. I almost want to write to the manager / partner, who I remained in contact with and developed a great relationship with after my interview to complain and say that if it weren't for them being so great and the prestige the company has, I likely would not accept the offer. I am scared I wont even receive an offer now. What do I do?
Submitted September 22, 2017 at 12:44PM by kOan__ http://ift.tt/2xtPZTF
