I apologize if this isn't the right sub for this question, but I thought someone here might have helpful advice.
I'm in my early 20s and live with my mom, who is in her 50s. To put it simply, my mom has abused me all my life--physically, emotionally, and financially. Ever since I started working at 18, she has controlled my money and my life.
My mom hasn't worked in a decade. For the most part, my grandparents support her financially, and I pay for the rest. Like I said, my mom controls my finances and always has. She sees my paychecks and knows exactly how much money I make. She has access to my debit card and decides what gets bought (though we don't share a bank account). If I question her purchases or refer to the money I earn as "mine," she says that I'm a selfish, greedy, evil bitch who doesn't care about her. In the end, I always cave. Otherwise, she makes my life a living hell.
I am completely dependent on my mom, because I can't drive, and public transport is practically nonexistent where I live. When I was a teenager, she said we didn't have money for driving lessons, but she also refused to teach me herself, or to allow anyone else (family, friends, etc) to teach me. Since she has such a tight grip on my finances, I can't save money to pay for lessons myself. If I disobey her or otherwise piss her off, she'll refuse to take me to work, and I have no other means of transport.
This situation must sound absurd to people who haven't experienced it, but for me, it's never been any other way. I feel completely paralyzed by my mother. If I disobey her or argue with her, she makes my life a living hell.
I'm beginning to make plans to escape. My mom will never let me leave on my own, so the only way will be to make my arrangements secretly and then throw my things in a bag and leave when it's time. The problem is money. I don't know how to save money without her finding out.
I'm an artist and I share my work online. Lately, I've gotten some messages from people interested in commissioning me, which I thought might be a good way to secretly save money. I considered setting up a PayPal account that my mom doesn't know about, not linked to my bank account, and squirreling away money for lessons/a car/an apartment--but when tax season rolls around, I'll have to report that money as income, which will tip her off (she insists on doing my taxes). So the secret commission thing probably isn't going to work out in the long run. I feel really hopeless.
Basically, I'm looking for ways to hide the money I earn from my abusive mother, so I can save enough to escape her house. Any and all advice is appreciated. Thank you for your time!
Submitted July 10, 2017 at 11:36PM by moon_blue http://ift.tt/2u2FZ37
