I am a 27 year old female. I made the most egregious of sins a woman can make in their life time- I depended on a man for ALL of my financial needs. Yesterday I was informed that when he returns from deployment in September that we will no longer be together. ((DISCLAIMER: I THANK him for the way he informed me of his decision, giving me 2 months to sort out my plans and my future before returns. In my mind this situation is horrible, but it could have been a lot worse if we were face to face and I was not given this time to sort my life out. So please NO HATE ONLY FINANCIAL ADVICE!))
Details Below:
- For the past 4 years I have been a stay at home mother to my boyfriend's son with special needs. I have had 0 income, work experience, or volunteer experience during this time.
- Before this relationship I had worked in the healthcare field as a certified nurses assistant, but my certification has since run out and I would have to take a class to get re-certified.
- He bought a home in which I lived in, and maintained but I am not legally tied to in any way.
- We have no children of our own. I have a great relationship with his ex-wife and their child and will not be denied access to him. (You never divorce the children!)
- I currently have an undriveable car that is in the garage that I OWN outright and have had for nearly 12 years now (2007 chevy colbolt with seized breaks, dead battery, and tires that need to be replaced).
- I also have approximately $1400 of credit card debt, and about $200 in my checking account.
- He is currently deployed over seas and will return in 2 months. I would like to be out of the state before he returns.
What he is offering:
- He is offering to pay $3-4k for a vehicle for me
- He has stated that he is willing to help me pay off my credit card debt as the majority of it was accrued by caring for his son or his home.
- He has also offered to let me stay in the house until I can find another option (whether he is home or not). I would rather not ever have to see him face to face again if possible.
What I want:
- My goal here is not to spite him, not to place blame, not to fuck him over or "take him for all he's worth". We are adults, this situation sucks major balls, but the overall goal is to figure out a compromise that will sever the ties yet cause the least amount of pain for both parties.
- I would like to be out of this house and preferably out of the state when he returns.
- I am currently in Virginia Beach, VA but I have family in Pensacola, FL (unfortunately my family does not have space for me to stay with them for any extended period of time.) I would like to relocate to where my support system is.
- I would be willing to care for anyone with special needs, elderly, disabled or do housework in return for free rent.
So PF.... I fucked up. My life is in shambles. I am asking for your advice and help but please keep your judgments and personal feelings out of the discussion.
((For any who are worried- I am safe, I am OK mentally and emotionally. I'm still in shock, but my parents have come to keep me company and offer support. Thank you so much for your help in advance! ))
Submitted July 22, 2017 at 10:52AM by Kelly1139 http://ift.tt/2gSUzF0
