"I FINALLY paid off $8 of credit card debt in 2 years while making $95k!"
"My Grandfather, the CEO of a prestigious candy bar company, left me 250k after he died! Should I visit all 490 countries or start a boutique pickle company?"
I'm exaggerating here, but growing up poor, some of the headlines on personalfinance have screamed "First world problems!" at times, and helped to reinforce the kind of uncertainty and anxiety I had as a Poor. I couldn't help but think that being secure in my own life was a pipe dream.
As a foreword, I wanted to write to this post as a sort of tribute to r/pf (and r/frugal) because of all the invaluable information I've learned from it over the past few years, and how I've applied those lessons to my own life. But I also wanted to write this for those people who, like me, happened to be born poor, isolated, or desperate to escape your circumstances.
A bit about me: I was raised by a single mother in a working class neighborhood in a large American city. She, my sister, and I lived for many years on a meager social security check we received each month because my father died young, and my sister had Down's Syndrome.
Finances eased after my mom remarried (to a factory worker), until working class wages stalled in the late 90's and completely cratered around 2008. I received no financial education as a child--I had to google how to write a check at 22 because no one ever thought to tell me. I was also imbued with a healthy distrust of authority.
Like many of you, I was considered a Child of Promise. It was a foregone conclusion that I would attend college. I was the shining star of the neighborhood, after all, and it was a powerful statement that I was bettering myself. As a first generation college student, coming from a working class school, no one questioned my major (writing), or my school choice (a private art school). I was 17 years old, unwittingly signing up for $80,000 of student loans.
I was academically prepared for college, sure, but socially I was completely out of my element. Is this story starting to sound familiar? I know now that I'm not alone, not by a long shot.
I didn't understand the value of making connections. I couldn't take that life changing internship because I worked part-time at my stepfather's factory. I graduated in 2011, right around the most stagnant labor market in 30 years. Saddled with debt and uncertainty, I did what many do:
I didn't pay my loans, I wandered aimlessly, I battled anxiety like a full-time job. It wasn't until several years later, a move across the country (and back) that I started to get my life together. Thanks, in no small part to this sub and others that stressed financial planning, accountability, and discipline.
But what nagged me was that while many people here posted about building something that lasts, I and millions of others were simply working towards that ever elusive 0: no debts, no masters. In fact, I still am.
What follows is an incomplete list of things I've learned as someone born under the line, that they never taught us in school. That they never taught us at home. That I hope will help you
1) No one is coming - It took a long time to let this one fully sink in. There will be no salvation. I don't mean this in a fatalistic way, just as a matter of fact. No one will pull you from poverty or desperation. Those lottery numbers aren't coming in. Your lady whose house you clean isn't leaving her money to you. The world is indifferent to your suffering.
I found this freeing: It is solely up to you.
2) Adapt Outside of maybe 6 fields, most jobs and careers are teachable to anybody with an 8th grade education. In a sea of equally qualified candidates, you will only stand out as a personality fit. This was a hard pill to swallow as a young person. I lacked social skills, and leaned heavily on my immaculate resume. What an employer really wants is a "3am guy." Someone who they don't want to murder on a late night, when the deadline's coming. Someone they can depend on, joke with.
Put yourself out there
3) You're not the only fuckup I let my student loans default in my early 20's because I was literally too afraid to pick up the phone. When you're born poor, your standing is all you have, and the feeling of failure can be immense, unbearable. But you're not the only person struggling. These companies know the system is held afloat by a few top earners and the rest of us paying what we can when we can. Make the call, get your shit straightened out. You'll find them willing to help 9 times out of 10.
4) Lie I assume this will be the most controversial point. I have lied on every resume I've ever written. I've lied in every interview I've ever taken. You will not get ahead over someone who has the time and means to perfect themselves. It simply will not happen. Lie, be charming, confident. Lie like your livelihood depends on it. It does. But know that you are now accountable to your lies. Be able to back them up with results. You will not get ahead by luck. The odds say you're not getting ahead at all.
5) You have more skills than you realize. Poor people have a fear of failure ingrained into their psyche because the stakes are real, and many become bitter of people for whom failure is just a minor setback. But failure, true failure, is the greatest learning experience in the world. No rich kid has ever had to come up with $200 by rent day, keep the lights on, find a way to get to work or, pay for a funeral on a line cook's wage. These are the skills to run a business, to run a family, to run your life. You are hungry, and you are sharp. No one can take that away from you.
6) Don't become bitter. This is the most important part. The world, despite how it sometimes feels, is amoral. Love. Grow. Hope. But be prepared.
I'd just like to thank the good contributors here over the years for all their help over the years. To all my fellow poors, you're not alone.
Feel free to add more in the comments!
Submitted June 02, 2017 at 01:12PM by darpachief http://ift.tt/2rzFwn9
