I've changed my life completely in the past 9 years; went from a corporate retail job to being a freelance writer, moved from a 3/2/1 house to eventually this 520 sf apartment. I went from 1/4 acre lot to about 250 sf of garden space. I no longer own a car, so walk, bus and ride a bike (hadn't been on one in 20 years before this) everywhere. I spend less then $200 a month for food most months. I have very, very few clothes (down from two closets full previously), one good pair of jeans, and one good pair of walking shoes.
Yesterday, I got tired of washing eating utensils, so I put away all but 2 of everything except I kept out 9 spoons, because that's mostly what I eat with. I don't really need 9 spoons, but I don't want to have to keep washing them all day, so 9 it is.
I share a small community garden plot close by, and I've gotten to where I hate going there, because it's just one more chore I have to do. I had huge plans for planting my courtyard but instead, I've decided to lay out an area for a few favorite plants, then fill the rest in with mulch because it's just something I have no interest in anymore.
I sometimes pick up things I think I'll eventually need or can use from beside the apartment dumpsters, but lately, I've been taking dumpster finds back out to the dumpster, because I want space more than I want stuff.
I think a lot about getting rid of it all and going to live in a van, traveling around the country, because I've never really seen the U.S. due to no money to travel. I don't know how long I could do that, but every time I have to do a deep clean of the apartment because it's gotten a little out of hand, I think how nice it must be only to have a tiny little van full of the essentials of life. Just now, while I was watering my indoor plants, I thought "I should just give all of these away. What good are they to me, really?" Plants and gardening used to be my life, and now it just seems like work.
It's all just so much to take care of! My neighbor was shocked I don't have a washer and dryer, and I told her it's just one more thing to break and have to get fixed. She didn't understand how I can stand going to the laundry room to do my laundry, but I explained to her that I have so few clothes and linens now that I can do it all in two loads once a week. I wish I could do it in one. If I lived in a van, I could do it in one.
I look at everything in here every day and think "I don't need this or that or that or ..." you get the idea. I have 5 frying pans. Who the hell needs 5 frying pans? I used to love my things, and to a point, I still do, but more and more, they are just things to take care of and things that require space that I don't want to clean and take care of. If I didn't have all these things, I wouldn't need all this space.
Am I going insane, or does anyone else feel this way?
Submitted May 04, 2017 at 08:03PM by writeaholic http://ift.tt/2pMuvOH
